Mini-movie Review!

Mini-movie Review!

You know, since we have a mile long to do list and 407 things planned for the upcoming year, we figured we’d start another section of the site (note the sarcasm dripping out your monitor). We watch movies like everyone else; some good, some bad so we figured, why not give our $.02 about them?

For our first in the installment, we have three films. Strange Brew, Hurt Locker and a blockbuster currently out in the theaters which we dubbed Crapatar

First up is classic among all classic comedies, none other than Strange Brew. For anyone who likes real comedies hasn’t seen Strange Brew, are you in for a treat. There is a plot, it’s funny (both the plot and the movie) and the dialect is hilarious. Two drunkard brothers go to work at a beer factory, what could go wrong? I could go on forever about this one but here’s not much else needed. It might not be up there with Anchorman and Caddyshack but it’s really good and a must see.

The Hurt Locker is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a while. If you somehow haven’t heard about it and like war, action, thriller movies, by all means see it. There’s a million reviews on this movie out there if you want more detail, but the quick run-down is you follow along with a EOD unit (they disable bombs) for a couple months. Things happen, you see get a glimpse of how crazy it is there. See it.

*Random tidbit: Staff Sgt Jeremy Herbert ran a 9:58 mile in an 80lb bomb suit in 105 degree heat in Iraq recently. Damn, my hat’s off to him.

If you’re one of the 12 people who hasn’t seen this movie in the theaters yet, consider yourself lucky. I wasn’t going to see it but unfortunately caved at the last minute when my cousin asked us to join them. What a mistake. How this thing beat Hurt Locker at the awards shows so far is befuddling.

My rundown of why this movie sucks:
1) SciFi! This should have been warning enough. Except for the original couple Star Wars movies, scifi movies are terrible!
2) It’s a blockbuster! I can’t think of a single blockbuster-type movie that I’ve liked. Sure they draw crowds in like crazy but they blow!
3) Super anti-Capitalist agenda (didn’t know about this coming in but it’s funny to think about, would a $450m movie be made in a non-capitalist society / economy?)

Basically, here’s what went through my mind watching it.
0-5 mins – When’s this thing going to start.
5-17 mins – Dang, the 3d is really good and the world they built is amazing
17-80 mins – I hate scifi movies, why did I come. Where’s my twizzlers?
80-110 mins – When does this thing end?
111 mins – I wish I could walk out, this movie sucks.
112-162 mins!!! – Wow, another subversive anti-American movie…
163 mins – Seriously, you people liked this enough to sit through the credits? Can you at least get out of the way so I can escape?